I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
