PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
