I forgot how hot balto sounded
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
