So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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