I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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