You can't special order awesome
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
