the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
