I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
