Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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