Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He passed out mid-signature
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I stole a fireplace last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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