it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
