at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
