I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
