Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
