how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
