i think i have herpe
just one?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
