Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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