need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was born a porn star she said
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
