i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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