the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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