it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
