so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
