butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
