Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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