hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this just has baby written all over it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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