I have demons in me.
i just google imaged poop.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
