is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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