What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
