you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
