the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
