Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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