Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
