Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
