So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
