Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
