i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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