Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
