belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
