fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
