I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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