is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
