glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
