Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
