Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
