so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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