Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
that may or may not have been my penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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