Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
