I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
