His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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