I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
