Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
