Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
