awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
